You haven’t failed enough yet.
You have to throw yourself into uncomfortable waters, harder. Or throw yourself into one subject, and get deeper.
Flow is the best feeling. It happens for me while I’m practicing yoga, dancing, coding, writing, reading… it’s when you are no longer aware of time passing. The passage of time is no longer strenuous and boring and something to be measured or analyzed.
Your mind controls way more than you think. We are not helpless to the forces of the world. There is almost nothing that just “IS”. Don’t be fooled by what people deem is “TRUTH.”
The only way to get good at something is to be terrible at it at first. And I mean horrendously terrible. But be humble about your terribleness. Ask questions, put the time in, make the mistakes. Don’t write things off, make sure that you lean into what strains and challenges your brain, what you don’t understand. Will yourself to understand. Be willing to be embarrassed by your lack of understanding along the way. Have the resilience to push through your bullshit and excuses so that you can GROW.